The Devil

A highly unfashionable topic.  Even though Pope Francis mentions him often.  In a 21st Century world, we think of the Devil as being a medieval fantasy, a subject for jokes, or simply non existent.

We forget that he isn't an entity with horns and a pitchfork.

St Ignatius of Loyola spoke often about the "good spirit" and the "bad spirit".  There's a good explanation of this here.

 http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/making-good-decisions/discernment-of-spirits/introduction-to-discernment-of-spirits

On retreat last year I found myself admitting (much to my surprise) in a conversation with a Sister who was also making the retreat, to an experience which I have told very few people about, but which I've been forced to consider a mystical experience in the absence of any other very good explanation.  As I was telling the story, even to my ears it seemed so impossible that I found myself backing off.  "I don't know," I said.  "I know it could just as easily have been my imagination, but..."

Her response was immediate.  "That's the evil spirit talking."  she said.

I thought a lot about that.  Her certainty that my sudden doubt, this voice that was saying to me that God only talks to "special" people came straight from the Devil.  It shook me a bit.  But just recently I found myself in what Ignatius called "spiritual desolation" - relating to something which is an area of my life which - after a lot of discernment and conversation with two good confessors, the Catechism and I have had to agree to differ on, because in a million years I will never be able to give "assent of will" to it.  Neither priest seemed to have any problem with this at all.  The problem is mine.  I come back to it, chew over it, get cross about it, then usually upset.  Over and over again.

Today, when I was starting down that road again, I heard Sister Caroline again in my head, as plain as day.

"That's the evil spirit talking."

I sat down and looked at what I was chewing over again.

"As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly." Proverbs 26;11, KJV


How many more times am I going to pummel the world until I get chapter and verse on something that isn't possible to get chapter and verse on?  What on earth is the point of having a conscience at all if not to give guidance when this sort of thing happens?  Why did I waste my time seeking out good spiritual advisors and talking to them about it if I was simply going to walk back into the same trap of despair again?  Is there anything that anyone could say to me that would actually stop me doing this to myself?  Over and over again?

Perhaps I ought to give the Devil points for a wily attack.  But this time, he doesn't win.  Thank you, Sister Caroline.  I owe you one.